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| Sadhu Om (right) |
(From “The Path of Sri Ramana”):
Sadhu Om: We hear some people saying:
“My love is not for myself; I work in this world not for my own happiness but for the welfare of other people. In fact, I live for others. To care only for my own happiness is selfishness – that is not my aim. My aim is the happiness of others.”
This is superficial talk, betraying a lack of sincere and serious analysis!
People do not realize that every so-called selfless act which they do brings happiness only to themselves!
Let us take the example of a man who is prepared to undergo, throughout his lifetime, all kinds of sufferings for his son just to maintain, educate, and keep him above needs and wants.
In doing so, it is he alone who gets satisfaction from seeing the prosperity of his son.
He worked for this satisfaction alone.
Is not this satisfaction his own?
Is not this self-satisfaction the driving force behind all his so-called selfless work?
The former American President Abraham Lincoln once saved a pig by lifting it out of the mire in which it was caught, and while doing so his body and clothes became very dirty.
The onlookers asked him why he, the president of such a vast country, should dirty himself just to save a common pig.
He replied:
“I got involved in this action not so much to relieve the suffering of the pig, but to relieve myself from the suffering I experienced at the sight of the pig. I did this only for my own peace of mind!”
What Lincoln said then is the practical truth of the matter.
It is only this self-satisfaction – one’s own happiness – which is the hidden motive behind all kinds of selfless acts!
This can in no way be denied.
Just as the sacrifice made for the sake of ‘my’ children and ‘my’ relatives turns out to be selfishness because it is caused by the love towards oneself,
so the love towards ‘my own’ country (deśābhimāna) and the love towards ‘my own’ language (bhāṣābhimāna) also turn out, in an indirect way, to be mere selfishness—because they are rooted in the love towards one’s body as ‘I’ (dehābhimāna).
What must be noted here is the “I” which is inherent in the “mine.”
He who rises saying, “I will sacrifice even my life so that my language may flourish,” does so on account of his love towards himself.
In the same manner, since even he who sacrifices his life for the sake of his country is aiming only for his own satisfaction, he also does so on account of self-love.
There are some who boast of their broad internationalism in contrast to narrow nationalism. They may say:
“I am not so selfish as to be concerned only for ‘my’ country or ‘my’ home; I want the whole world to be happy. My aim is not the benefit of any particular language or country; is this not unselfishness?”
Yet even this belongs to the same category!
This man also gets peace only when he sees the whole world in peace, and thus what he desires is his own peace or happiness!
It is therefore clear that even this hero of so-called unselfishness has love for his own self.
This indeed is self-love.
Therefore, the law that everyone loves himself most is irrefutable!
Thus, you have to conclude that, of all things, the dearest to you is yourself.
According to these two conclusions:
a) That you are your dearest of all, and
b) That love can spring forth only towards happiness,
It is clear that you must be eternal happiness (paramasukham) itself.
Where there is happiness, there is love;
Since you love yourself best, you are eternal happiness itself.
Thus, do we not once again come to the same conclusion?
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Vira Chandra: At first glance, it may appear that true love lies in sacrifice:
In giving without wanting,
In letting go without resentment,
In quietly wishing happiness for the other, even if it excludes us.
And while such love feels noble, even divine, Sadhu Om invites us to go deeper.
He asks:
Why do we give?
Why do we let go?
Why do we feel peace when others are happy?
Is it not because our own heart finds relief in that moment?
Is it not our own mind that is disturbed by their suffering, and soothed by their joy?
The truth is difficult to admit—because it strips even our most exalted feelings of their imagined purity.
But this stripping is not cruelty. It is liberation.
When we look honestly, we see:
Even our so-called selflessness arises from love of Self.
Not the egoic self—but the deeper Self that longs for peace, wholeness, rest.
Even the desire for the whole world to be happy... is the desire for our own inner harmony.
This is not selfishness.
It is the secret design of Reality.
And when we see this clearly, we begin to understand something luminous:
If all love flows back to the Self,
And all love flows toward happiness,
Then the Self must be eternal happiness itself.
We are not loving others in place of ourselves.
We are loving what we think is “other”
—until we realize it was always our Self in disguise.
In this way, the path of love does not lead away from the Self.
It leads into it.
And there, the giving, the letting go, the compassion, the joy— they are no longer acts.
They are our very nature.
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