Adam and Eve: The Alchemy of Leaving a Spiritual “Heaven”

Adam and Eve by Albrecht Durer

 (Nigredo → Albedo → Citrinitas → Rubedo)


Vira Chandra: Medieval alchemy spoke of transforming base metals into gold, naming each phase with mysterious Latin words: Nigredo (blackening), Albedo (whitening), Citrinitas (yellowing), and Rubedo (reddening). Psychologists like Carl Jung saw these stages as mirrors for our own inner journey. Nowhere is this clearer than when someone joins a spiritual organization that feels like paradise, only to later discover cracks beneath the surface and ultimately forge a new, more authentic self.

We may enter a religious group much like Adam and Eve stepped into Eden—a place of kindness, shared purpose, and near-effortless harmony. This spiritual “heaven” offers ready answers and comforting rituals. At first, it truly can feel as though we’ve found an unblemished garden. Then, like tasting that fateful fruit, we stumble upon something that doesn’t match the perfect image: perhaps a leader’s hypocrisy or a rule that tugs harshly on our conscience. Suddenly, the warm light grows cold; doubts and questions bloom. This is the Nigredo: a blackening moment when cherished illusions dissolve and we feel exiled from the very place that once seemed our refuge.

Shaken, we often linger in confusion. Friends we trusted might accuse us of betrayal. We may feel guilty for questioning a system that once gave us belonging. Yet if we follow this crisis inward, we find a cleansing—the Albedo—where we gently rinse away what was never genuine. Just as Adam and Eve walk a new, more complicated earth, we begin examining each belief: “Do I still value this?” “Was that simply taught, or do I feel it in my heart?” It’s a time of sorrow, but also clarity. We realize we’re no longer relying on borrowed certainty; we’re discovering a truth that can stand on its own.

Gradually, as we keep processing the pain and embracing insights, a subtle dawn emerges. This is Citrinitas, the yellowing, where the heartbreak and lessons weave together, and we feel ourselves growing stronger. No longer naive, we understand the group’s gifts as well as its flaws, honoring the genuine while refusing to cover up deception. Like Adam and Eve who learn to stand in a world outside Eden, we rely on our own evolving conscience. We reclaim the power we once placed in an authority figure, seeing that our spiritual life can continue and even flourish beyond the boundaries of that closed garden.

Finally, there is Rubedo—the reddening—where we find a new wholeness. We do not return to the old organization, nor do we spend all our days resenting it. Instead, we carry forward the gold: the real spiritual nourishment we discovered in the process. We come home to ourselves. Eden might be lost, but in its place we gain the full, vibrant tapestry of a life that holds sorrow, hope, wisdom, and freedom together. It’s a maturity that outshines paradise’s innocence.

Though a religious organization is one of the most striking examples of this four-stage alchemy, similar transformations appear in countless human stories. It might be the child who idolizes a father—until the day she sees his human flaws and must forge a new bond that honors truth on both sides. Or the student who adores a mentor as omniscient, only to be disillusioned yet ultimately empowered to find knowledge within. Even the collapse of an idealized romantic relationship can spark the same arc: shattered illusions (Nigredo), painful insight (Albedo), slow integration (Citrinitas), and a reawakened capacity to love in a deeper, more grounded way (Rubedo). In every case, what seems like a fall from grace becomes the very catalyst for real inner gold. We are, each of us, alchemists—turning the dross of lost paradises into the shining treasure of a freer, more honest self.